Sonic
Well-Known Member
- Thread starter
- #1
About 5 years ago I bought my lovely brand new 2012 Porsche Taycan Turbo S.
Fully electric, completely new platform, basically shipped straight to production to be “tested in the wild”. Fine, i accepted that. It’s a brilliant car… but it had one absolutely ridiculous flaw that has continually made it borderline unreliable when not used frequently.
The car sits at home plugged into the mains electric supply, with a 93kWh 800v battery that could run a big house for days, plus a smaller 12v battery that powers the electronics. In theory, the big battery keeps the small one topped up.
In reality, there’s clearly a bug. Every few weeks, if the car isn’t used, the 12v battery just dies. Completely flat, without notice.
Result:
• Alarm goes off waking neighbours up
• Tracker company calls you and wakes you off
• Car is totally dead - it won’t unlock, handles won’t present, alarm wont go off, nothing
At this point you get to enjoy the “premium Porsche experience”:
You remove the physical key from the fob, fight to pull out the recessed door handle just enough to get the tiny key in, then try to turn the tiny key in the stiff lock to manually unlock the door, disable the alarm, and then climb into a completely dead car with no power.
So now you either call recovery… or follow the well documented official unofficial workaround:
• Remove interior trim in the driver footwell
• Expose a fuse panel
• Pull a specific +ve fuse out
• Attach an external battery to it
• Run a cable to the nearest earth point (the door latch, the battery cables wont reach, naturally…)
• Which gives just enough power to pop the frunk
Then:
• Open the frunk
• Remove more trim
• Access the actual 12v battery
• Jump it with the same battery pack
That finally wakes the car up so it can realise its own battery is dead… and recharge itself from the massive 800v battery it’s been sitting on the whole time.
So naturally, I now carry a battery pack and an electrical extension cable in the passenger footwell at all times. Not the boot. Not the frunk. Inside the cabin. Because reasons.
All of this is just about tolerable… until it’s 4am in an airport car park after a long flight and you physically can’t even open the door wide enough to start dismantling the interior.
Anyway, after 5 years of extensive research, Porsche have finally released their long-awaited over-the-air software update to fix this, which as a vaguely competent engineer, I assumed would be a simple logic update: “If 12v battery low -> charge up from big battery”.
No.
The fix is: The app now sends you a notification saying the battery is low… and you need to go and turn the car on and off again so it can charge itself.
I wish I was joking.
The car knows the battery is low.
It tells you the battery is low.
It could fix the battery being low.
But instead, it asks you to come outside and reboot it.
Turns out the answer, even in a £100k+ electric Porsche, after years of research, is still: “have you tried turning it off and on again?”
Fully electric, completely new platform, basically shipped straight to production to be “tested in the wild”. Fine, i accepted that. It’s a brilliant car… but it had one absolutely ridiculous flaw that has continually made it borderline unreliable when not used frequently.
The car sits at home plugged into the mains electric supply, with a 93kWh 800v battery that could run a big house for days, plus a smaller 12v battery that powers the electronics. In theory, the big battery keeps the small one topped up.
In reality, there’s clearly a bug. Every few weeks, if the car isn’t used, the 12v battery just dies. Completely flat, without notice.
Result:
• Alarm goes off waking neighbours up
• Tracker company calls you and wakes you off
• Car is totally dead - it won’t unlock, handles won’t present, alarm wont go off, nothing
At this point you get to enjoy the “premium Porsche experience”:
You remove the physical key from the fob, fight to pull out the recessed door handle just enough to get the tiny key in, then try to turn the tiny key in the stiff lock to manually unlock the door, disable the alarm, and then climb into a completely dead car with no power.
So now you either call recovery… or follow the well documented official unofficial workaround:
• Remove interior trim in the driver footwell
• Expose a fuse panel
• Pull a specific +ve fuse out
• Attach an external battery to it
• Run a cable to the nearest earth point (the door latch, the battery cables wont reach, naturally…)
• Which gives just enough power to pop the frunk
Then:
• Open the frunk
• Remove more trim
• Access the actual 12v battery
• Jump it with the same battery pack
That finally wakes the car up so it can realise its own battery is dead… and recharge itself from the massive 800v battery it’s been sitting on the whole time.
So naturally, I now carry a battery pack and an electrical extension cable in the passenger footwell at all times. Not the boot. Not the frunk. Inside the cabin. Because reasons.
All of this is just about tolerable… until it’s 4am in an airport car park after a long flight and you physically can’t even open the door wide enough to start dismantling the interior.
Anyway, after 5 years of extensive research, Porsche have finally released their long-awaited over-the-air software update to fix this, which as a vaguely competent engineer, I assumed would be a simple logic update: “If 12v battery low -> charge up from big battery”.
No.
The fix is: The app now sends you a notification saying the battery is low… and you need to go and turn the car on and off again so it can charge itself.
I wish I was joking.
The car knows the battery is low.
It tells you the battery is low.
It could fix the battery being low.
But instead, it asks you to come outside and reboot it.
Turns out the answer, even in a £100k+ electric Porsche, after years of research, is still: “have you tried turning it off and on again?”
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